You’re probably here reading this after you’ve clicked on the question with an answer prepped, wanting to see if yours is comparable to others. You’re in the wrong place. Stop reading now then if you were worried about how intricate your thinking is or if love only exists in certain places.
Do you want a sappy answer? Or a cliche one? This post isn’t to stroke your ego or ensure that you aren’t crazy. If you’re sticking around this long it’s because you can’t control your curiosity or you genuinely like my style. I personally hope that it’s both..
Love is the single most coveted thing we have as humans. Love is a connection that breaks bonds in a physical sense and can transcend us to a higher plane. Interstellar did a decent job at showing that. What I mean is that our human subconscious is what actually drives you. It controls you. It is you. Yet we think that we’re in the driver’s seat 99% of the time and that simply isn’t the case.
Love is a feeling, a connection, that allows your subconscious to break that fourth wall in your life. You simply think that putting yourself out there will find love but in reality, it begins within you. There are many phenomenon that exist to showcase what I am trying to say, such as when you buy a new car all of a sudden you see that care everywhere. Or when you stop looking for something, it shows up right in front of your face.
Why is that? Is it because love is there all around us and we choose to ignore it subconsciously? Can we force it to exist? If your hormones get imbalanced, can that influence the feeling of love or hate? The answer is, it is always what you feel deep down. Ironically that’s where your subconscious lies.
With the trauma I have experienced in my life, with the grief and loss, it’s hard to determine where I’ve felt loved. Nowhere gives me the safety that I am looking for. I always feel out of place or ignored. I don’t belong or I don’t fit in. It can be existentially detrimental but I keep vested in achieving my goals. The only way that feels realistic is by taking my goals and shipping them off to something else. I let God take the reigns on that one.
It’s hard to say without a doubt that I have felt loved only because I can’t say I haven’t not felt it. Without knowing war, can you truly know peace? To know what love feels like, you have to have felt unloved. I can’t say I have so I’m not certain if I have felt loved. The closest thing to it comes from my wife and children and father. Love has existed unconditionally from them. I can still mess up but be given the opportunities to fix it. That if I don’t perform my end of the bargain, I’m still accounted for. That if I don’t reply to a message or answer a call or play a game of baseball, they still look for me every day.
I just hope that for you, love doesn’t come with extra baggage or strings attached. That isn’t love. That is a mutual benefit that you don’t need to pursue any longer, unless you still have lessons to learn from it.
My final message to you is one I’ve learned recently; how low must you go to open your heart and eyes to the lesson you need to learn?
Nick Swinehart 
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